This experience wasn’t about me all of a sudden gaining a testimony. It WAS about God all of a sudden opening my eyes to the way he has always been a part of every single aspect of my life. It required some effort from me and for that I will forever be grateful.

Now, before you begin, because this experience is so dear to me, I have a small request. If you don’t have at least 30 minutes of quiet uninterrupted time to read and think about this experience I was given as a pure gift from God, please print it off or come back later when that’s the case. My reason for this request? Well, let’s just say it’ll make all the difference.

The thought came to me like lightning, only the kind that doesn’t fry your brain. It was clean and quick and as far as I could remember it was the first time that it came to me. The thought brought with it a certain degree of uneasiness. To be real, intense fear more adequately describes the experience. I was not far from the day I would leave my home and serve a mission for my church in South Korea and I had no idea if what I was to teach was true!

Upon further reflection I decided to ask my mother about this thing called the Holy Ghost. I had heard about it all my life and at that point I couldn’t recall ever feeling or understanding it. I was confused and anxious to say the least.

Directing me to the promise that was given by the last writer in the Book of Mormon I read these words, “And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere hear, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.”

I’m sure that I’d heard it before, but never had I needed to take up this guy on his promise. I had a good life, good friends and never felt a need. The need to know was approaching very quickly.

I now had a choice. I could stretch myself and seek to know of I could listen to my fears which said “what if it’s not true?”

I soon thereafter took to a serious daily study of the Book of Mormon. I would study each night and pray as I did so. My prayers often felt like they hit the ceiling and fell right back down. But as time progressed I began to feel a calm and peace that I  was on the right track.

In my prayers proceeding study as well as after study I asked almost every night if the words I was studying were true. No voice came at first …no voice came by the time I was half-way through, though by that time I had found a great companion in the words of the Book of Mormon. I occasionally found myself staying up a couple of hours pouring over the stories and feeling like I could really relate the characters therein. While I still didn’t feel like I had my answer to the truthfulness of the book I was finding great analogies for my life, ways to protect myself against sin and great role models of belief, strength & happiness.

The lives of all my new friends weren’t always easy, again I could relate. My friend Captain Moroni was continually at war with his brothers. He spent much of his time strengthening the cities of his people so they could survive attacks that he knew were coming. They did. The cities prevailed because of his planning and preparation.

My other new friend Alma was a spiritual advisor for a wicked king. As he listened to a prisoner testify of God’s commandments, of Christ’s healing and of the disobedience of the people something in his heart clung onto the words. The prisoner was killed and he would have been too had he not ran from the kings guards. He found safety in hiding where he wrote the words of the prisoner, sought a change of heart and his ways. He found it and from then on sought to teach the truth to others.

I also grew to befriend 2,000 young men who were taught by their mothers that if they believed in and followed God’s law, they would have nothing to fear. There came a time when the families of these boys were in danger. Neighboring people sought to kill them because of their beliefs. The fathers of those boys had previously made a pact with God that they would no longer take up their swords to kill their fellow man. It was then that those 2,000 boys stood to protect their families. During battle many in the joint armies were killed, but when done, all 2,000 were accounted for and they rejoiced in the love and faith their mothers had given them.

As I was gaining these new friendships something else was happening though I wouldn’t realize it until later. My Father in Heaven in his great love and mercy was slowly peeling away layers of disbelief and doubt from my heart and mind.

Before I say just how this scripture journey ended I want to convey several experiences that happened during the course of my trip.

As I grew up I had been a bit controlling of my belongings and was somewhat of a perfectionist to boot. Those traits often came into conflict with my two younger sisters. I mean, a kid can only take so many broken and dulled crayons, not to mention they usually used my stuff without my permission. I think the worst part of it was that they colored outside the lines!!!

Anyway, long story short, I felt like they were out to get me somehow…because they often were. Such were our interactions that when I used to walk into a room their hair would stand up like when cats see a dog.

One day as I was reading one of my sisters did something that normally would have annoyed me to no end. I recall being very calm and letting it roll right off my back, very unusual. It didn’t sink in then just what had happened, but it later would fall into context.

Another time I had planned on staying in town for the night. Because we lived up the canyon and it was a good 20 minute drive home and I at this point in time I found it easier to just stay at a friend’s house than to drive home. For some reason I remember wandering around town, not really making any headway towards my friend’s place. As I stood in the Ream’s grocery store at the mouth of the canyon I decided to just go home instead.

When I god home I began my nightly ritual of studying my Book of Mormon. This happened to be one of those nights when I couldn’t put down the book. Tiredness had escaped me and 1 0′clock passed without my notice. By the time 2 o’clock rolled around I was still going strong. It was somewhere between then and 4 am (I think closer to 4) that I heard a faint rattling against the wall that neighbored my little sister’s room. I got up to see what it was and found Mindy in a diabetic shock. I was truly scared and called immediately for my mom. When she and my step-father came up they did gave her a tube of glucose and soon Mindy stopped and came to. Everything turned out okay.

I have wondered occasionally what would have happened had I not felt impressed to go home that night and got caught up in my study of the Book of Mormon.

Last, and by no means the only other experience of the sort, I sat in my room reading one sunny winter day when I heard tires squealing outside my window. I got up to see and there was a man trying to get his car dislodged from the snow. Without a second thought I hurried & put my snow pants and boots on and ran out to help him.

Where three experiences initially came and went without any real fanfare and I was still answer-less as to the question I had been asking daily: “Is the Book of Mormon true?”

When I finally finished reading  I recall sitting back in my chair with the last pages laying open on my drawing table before me. “Is it true?” was the question that lingered in my mind, floating there like a feather on a soft breeze. I reviewed Moroni’s promise that my mother had shown me. Another part stood out to me this time. In the verse before it told me to read and pray I it says, “behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye should receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.”

So, I began to ponder. Into my mind came scenes of the Lord helping the children of Israel in to their promised land, feeding them while they were in their wilderness. I remembered the Lord sending Adan heavenly messengers to teach him truth. I thought about the protection he gave to the strippling warriors & the their fathers, the Anti-Nephi-Lehis who buried their weapons as a sign to God that they wanted to follow him and how he consequently protected them from losing their faith.

My mind then went on a very interesting journey and I saw how the Lord had been preparing me for this moment. After thinking of the scriptural examples of God’s love and mercy I began quite naturally to think about experiences in my own life. I recalled those three experiences I related before and started to see things in a new light. Before beginning my journey began I was positive that I hadn’t ever had any spiritual experiences, that I hadn’t ever felt the Spirit.

Well, the vision I had then wasn’t one of God and Jesus Christ appearing to me, but it was just as life changing. The love of God had always been there, I just couldn’t see it, mainly because I wasn’t looking. My eyes had been opened to the ways in which I was changing as a result of studying and praying about the Book of Mormon:

My heart had begun to soften towards my sisters. I directly credit my journey to find out if the Book of Mormon was true to the love I now feel for them. I also began to be more open to helping others when they struggled. I was a different man. In fact, that may have been when I actually grew up, for it was then that learned, through the power of God, that my life was not my own, but that I was here to love and serve others.

I now had my answer to the question that once frightened me only months earlier. I found my Savior in the pages of the Book of Mormon and before I knew it, he had entered my heart as well. He increased my desire to serve. Somewhere along the way he helped me to shed my angry heart and other desires to sin. He increased my love for my family and forgiveness came quickly.

If God is love and if he inspires all good then I found him as I opened my heart to the possibility that the Book of Mormon could be true and as I tested that possibility through study, prayer and self reflection. Christ had changed me through this book for the better.

I now know that the Book of Mormon is true. And through that spiritual gift of understanding I also know that Joseph Smith translated it, that Jesus is God’s son and that all good we experience comes because he died for us & overcame our chains of sin and death.

Through this journey with the Book of Mormon I also am confident in God’s love for us all. I know he didn’t send us to earth without a light to guide us. He sent prophets and they speak for him. There have been many times where I was able to face a situation because I had recently studied the words of the prophets of our day.

God lives! He speaks in our day. He sent his son so we could live again and so that we could change into better people.  One day we will stand before God and account for how we used our time here. He will be loving & merciful & judge us like no other can, perfectly, for he knows all – our hearts, our motives, our understanding, our fears, our passions & struggles.

He has power to work any situation for our good and to make all things right that we have felt unjustly dealt. He is a God of truth and we can trust what he tells us. And that is true whether it comes through a prophet, a parent or a friend. The Spirit speaks words and feelings of peace to our mind and hearts. We can know when we feel this that we are feeling the Spirit and what is being said is from God. Many disregard their own impressions, but this is a loving Heavenly Father reaching out to speak to his children.

This is how the Lord showed to me the Book of Mormon’s truth; by opening my eyes and letting me see the changes that had come about in my heart and in my life. He did this just the same way he shows anyone sincerely seeking to know.

Only by adhering to true principles can anyone really experience true joy. It’s no different than adhering to the laws govern the growth of plants to receive food, or obeying the laws of aerodynamics to get a plane to fly. Obey the laws, get the reward. Disobey and the reward will forever escape you.

There are many voices out there amongst those we know who cast a shadow of doubt on the existence of God or on his true character. Because they have not sought to know him, they reason incorrectly that he is not there. In many ways, whether in words or actions, they encourage us to doubt too. However, the ideas they share with us do us a great disservice, for they separate us from an infinitely loving Father in Heaven who desperately is waiting for us to seek him out so that he can share with his children the steps to be happy here on earth AND for eternity (for indeed there is life after our body lays to rest).

I love my Savior. He has saved me once (from selfishness) and I know he will do so many more times before I die if I will allow him to by seeking him out and following the quiet impressions that come to my mind and heart.

Walking as a disciple of Christ has required a lot of sacrifices from me and though it’s hard I have found much more reward in changing my behaviors to match his word than can ever be found in changing my beliefs to match my natural inclinations.

I know God lives. I know he sent his son. I know he sent us prophets to teach us the way of true joy. I know He’s given us his power to use in performing his work, the priesthood. I know the Book of Mormon is the true word of God for our benefit. I know that Joseph translated the Book by the instruction and power of God. This he did so that we, God’s children, could know of his great love for us, so that we could see that he keeps his promises and so that we could come unto Christ and feel of the pure joy that comes from being led by the soft impressions of the Spirit.

I love my God, my family, and my friends. God is good and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is led by him, through living prophets.

Now, to my friends and family and anyone else that comes across these words. I thank you dearly for reading the words of my testimony which mean more to me than my life. If these words “made sense,” “rang true,” or you just “felt something,” please take a moment to thank the Lord. I want let you know as clearly as I can that God is no respecter of persons. I am nothing special. He didn’t give me these experiences because I am in some way better than anyone else. He cares infinitely about each one of his children, even those that have strayed. Heaven knows I have! He will lead anyone to gain a firm conviction of truth. The catch: you got to want it, you have to ask for it and you got to pay the price. He speaks to everyone in ways they can understand and in his own time.

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Finally, if you These are the men that I listen to. It’s their words along with those in the scriptures that I think about, pray to understand and strive to follow. I know their words are the words of Christ and that they lead to peace, hope and deliverance.

When the wind whispers acts of anger
Do we willingly enrage?
Or do we acknowledge the wind
And choose instead our hearts to believe?

Do we forgive our fathers
When the bitterness of their past bites and pains us so?
Or do we give them our loyalty
And let pass their short comings?

For they too are like us
With times that are best unseen
And they too are like us
Worthy of our love

So do we forgive our fathers
And in so doing forgive ourselves?
Do we drop the bottles
That keep inside our hurt?

Do we go forward and live
And in doing show we forgave?
And do we forgive our fathers
And in so doing set ourselves free?

(Written October 6, 2002)

I am made up of so many people
My experiences are such
That when I look into the mirror
There’s no face I cannot touch

I see the people wondering
What I have become
There has to be an answer there
But searching, I find none

(Written April 6, 1996)

I owe so much to my mother that no amount of honor I bring her, no dollar value, no amount of words can adequately express how much she’s done to bless my life.

Though this is the case, I want to note several ways in which my mother has consistently blessed my life. Her example in each of the following areas has meant more to me than I can adequately express.

Faith – My mother has stepped into the darkness with the hope that the way would be lit for her. She was a convert to the Church at age 26 and has continued on to receive her temple endowments, serve faithfully in her callings and open the way for many of her ancestors to receive the blessings & ordinances of the gospel. She’s helped build my foundation of faith.

Hope – My mother reminds me often that Christ has power to overcome all fears, doubts and challenges that face me. She reminds me that there are many people praying for my success in life. She remains firm in the hope that she will one day receive the greatest blessings that can be afforded the faithful in this life. Her hope has been a strength to me.

Charity – My mother gives of her time to lift others. Preparing meals for those in need, making holiday treats to let neighbors know that she is thinking of them and taking the time to visit the sick and afflicted are living memories that I have of my mother. The noblest action is for one to care for another who cannot care for themselves. This is my mother.

Love – My mother makes a point to remember important things in my life and ask me about them. She has always encouraged me throughout my life, whether it be in dating, school or in sports…and believe me, I needed a LOT . Her oft expressed words, “I love you” hold weight because I see that they are accompanied by thoughtful actions, words of encouragement and meaningful attention. I am lifted by my mother’s love.

This is my mother. She means so much to me and in the shadow of her greatness I seek only to do what is good and right and true.

Thanks Ma! I love you!

Your Eldest and Only Son,

Ryan

The Art of Parenting Teens and Other Miracles
Speaker: John Lund
Event: Family Expo 2000
Date Given: April 3, 2000

http://byubroadcasting.org/familyexpo/2000/asx/lund.asx