It has settled upon me
One reason perhaps why
I’ve been given this gift,
This thorn in the side

My desire for focus
Has stemmed from my lack
And drawn me t’wards Father
His ability in tact

I learn of His greatness
His glory & light
That will encompass my spirit
When I pass through the night

That heavenly focus
Is a super human power
Comprehending the oceans
Each sand of each hour

Not one at a time
As now I must grow
But hundreds upon thousands
Of truths will I know

And if this is all — the reason my mind
Tries to lay hold of 50 things at a time,
That it’s a heavenly yearning
And my body lags behind –

Then I’ll praise my God
For this gift from above
That’s helping me see heaven
And his precious, divine love

~ Ryan “Super Focus Boy” Mendenhall

I felt the distint impression this morning as I was studying about the Spirit World, after death, that my tendency to want to try to comprehend everything now is an inseperable part of my spirit that’s trying to work within the confines of the limiting factor of my physical body.

The impressions came as I was listening to Brent L. Top’s talk called What’s On the Other Side? What the Gospel Teaches Us about the Spirit World, especially these words from Orson Pratt speaking of what learning is like in the spirit world once we die,

“We shall learn many more things there; we need not suppose our five senses connect us with all the things of heaven, and earth, and eternity, and space; we need not think that we are conversant with all the elements of nature, through the medium of the senses God has given us here. Suppose He should give us a sixth sense, a seventh, an eighth, a ninth, or a fiftieth. All these different senses would convey to us new ideas, as much so as the senses ol tasting, smelling, or seeing communicate different ideas from that of hearing….

How long a time would it take a man in the next world, if he had to gain knowledge as we do here, to find out the simplest things in nature ? He might reason, and reason for thousands of years, and then hardly have got started. But when this Spirit of God, this great telescope that is used in the celestial heavens, is given to man, and he, through the aid of it, gazes upon eternal things, what does he behold ? Not one object at a time, but a vast multitude of objects rush before his vision, and are present before his mind, filling him in a moment with the knowledge of worlds more numerous than the sands of the sea shore. Will he be able to bear it ? Yes, his mind is strengthened in proportion to the amount of information imparted. It is this tabernacle, in its present condition, that prevents us from a more enlarged understanding…

I believe we shall be freed, in the next world, in a great measure, from these narrow, contracted methods of thinking. Instead of thinking in one channel, and following up one certain course of reasoning to find a certain truth, knowledge will rush in from all quarters ; it will come in like the light which flows from the sun, penetrating every part, informing the spirit, and giving understanding concerning ten thousand things at the same time; and the mind will be capable of receiving and retaining all.”

 (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 2, Brigham Young)

Brilliant!

Sadness & strife

These are but gifts

Blessings of life

We ride the cycles of happiness and sorrow. With every rotation we learn more of what it is to be human, to have strains, to have challenges, to have difficulties. To recognize that these down times are but part of the whole allows us to let hope into our hearts and understand, as my grandmother used to say, “this too shall pass.”

At times we run faster than we’re able. We fill our lives, and rightly so, with good activities. But there comes a point when the busyness of life robs from us the precious gift of reflection. In quiet moments we can look back on our behavior, let the solemnity of special moments sink in and we can assess our thinking on important topics. Simplifying our lives can provide us with many such opportunities. In these sacred times we can come to accept & love ourselves as well as see life more clearly.

Shelter, food, clothes and heat. These are the few basic things that Henry David Thoreau determined were necessaries for man while he lived a simplified life on Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Walden Pond. I am thankful for my meager apartment and cramped room. I am grateful that I have clothes to wear, including my cowboy boots. I am pleased that my house is warm when the weather outside has other plans. I am grateful for my 5 pound bag of pretzels and chocolate milk that sustain somehow my life.

Breaking from philosophy and entering practicality: In considering a shelter Dave Ramsey counsels to spend no more than 25% of your monthly take home pay on your monthly home payments. Also, providing at least 20% in down payment on a 15 year loan will allow you the most flexibility if you need to immediately sale the home.

Thrift, industry, economy and frugality are traits that I seek. At present time I think I’m running about 50/50 on most of them. Hopefully my kids someday will be able to learn these from their bearded father.

Finally, I’m grateful for my agency. I needn’t choose simplicity because that’s what I was advised to do. Rather, I choose simplicity because I can conceive of its benefits in a busy and rushed world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thoughts taken from Let Him Do It with Simplicity, a talk by Elder L. Tom Perry in the October 2008 LDS General Conference.

Occasionally a human would walk by and with the quickness the grasshopper had come to pride himself on, he would hop out of the danger’s way. However, once the trouble was gone he would always return to the path where the humans walk.

After this the little grasshopper’s first encounter with a human he considered briefly finding a safer place to rest from the troubles of the day. But just as speedily as that thought had come, he also had another, and then another. They went something like this:

“The danger is gone now. You needn’t worry. You can now return to your favorite spot on the path where humans walk. Besides, it was quite some time before you ever saw even one human and when you did, you were quick to remove yourself from danger. If danger comes again, I am able. No harm will come to me.”

So return he did to his favorite spot where humans walk and continued to bask in the sun’s warmth.

After a few times of being called to alarm by the presence of a human walking by and one close call, the grasshopper had enjoyed some time without any cause for worry. Smiling at this newly experienced peace from danger’s threat, the little insect grew very accustomed to life on the path where humans once walked.

Time passed and the grasshopper forgot what it was like to move for danger. He grew tired one sunny morning and without warning, as is often the case when one is careful to not make a sound, a lone human strolled down the path where the grasshopper lay slumbering.

Without attention to the tiny life on the path the human walked where it was taught to walk and without even noticing, stepped on the little grasshopper and on its way it went.

Now friends, the life of the tiny grasshopper may be gone, but yours is not. What paths that now seem safe to you will one day bring danger? Where do you now slumber and what strengths do you use to justify that that sleep? Be careful to give attention to the tale of the confident grasshopper.

During the first week of 2008 I spent some quality time with a business partner. For some reason we decided to make a new tradition that I definitely didn’t have as part of my life during 2007. We decided on our first day back to work after the new year that we’d spend 30 minutes each morning in silence. During the quiet we would let all thoughts of necessities settle to the ground, organize them into a written list and then prioritize them with the the help of the question, “If I only achieved one thing today, what would be the most important?”

After several days of planning like that my partner began planning in the evening before so that the next day he could awake and get straight to his list, approaching his goals that much sooner in the day. A wise choice, as morning accomplishments seem to raise morale and boost self-confidence.

My experience with purposeful and daily morning planning has helped me to feel the excitement in my work that I crave. It has contributed to much more focused days and to keeping my mind on the task at hand. I have left work each day feeling accomplished which has meant a lot to me as I often will stay up late when I don’t feel accomplished during the day. This breeds poor sleep habits and I am often tempted to rationalize poor decisions the next day and sidestep responsibility, blaming errors on the lack of sleep.

In all, this simple principle of daily planning has helped me to feel as if I’m moving towards my goals. And since I’m an idea guy, I’ve valued dearly this little strategy that is helping me to see my dreams come to life a little each day.

The Art of Parenting Teens and Other Miracles
Speaker: John Lund
Event: Family Expo 2000
Date Given: April 3, 2000

http://byubroadcasting.org/familyexpo/2000/asx/lund.asx

Application: While in Korea serving my church and God I was responsible for a small group of others who were also serving. At one time one of the Korean sisters in our group came to me crying. Her emotions were strong. Her feelings and countenance were dark. I felt resistance from her. I couldn’t see how I was going to help, especially since her stated cause of sadness and anger was things happening in her family. How was I, an American poor at the Korean language, going to affect this sister’s life for the better?

With a prayer in my heart for guidance I listened to her mountain of discords. When I spoke to her I found myself saying something that may in similar circumstances be laughed off. I asked her to essentially “Count Your Many Blessings”. With tears still in her eyes and now looking up at me with trust, she said that she was thankful for her beliefs. She spoke of her family and of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I allowed her to continue to think on these things and before long her tears of sadness had become tears of happiness for all that she had.

I didn’t have to change things in her life to improve her attitude and emotional state. All that needed to be done was for her to recognize that though discord DID exist in her life, her state of happiness didn’t have to hinge on that. While focusing on the things that she perceived to be stealing happiness from her, it was as if she was blind to the possibility of positive emotions. She couldn’t see them sitting right next to her. Once she acknowledged those possibilities her emotions soared to great heights.

“Ryan, you rate very high on the ADHD scale in your testing.”

Sweet Doc! Are you telling me that we can now explain why I’m so brilliant?!

“Yes, Ryan. That’s EXACTLY what I’m saying.”

But in all seriousness. Here’s the skinny…

Before my appointment on April 9th I did a battery of 13 tests. When I went in that first morning I spent another 2 hours with the psychologist taking some more tests and giving him my history.

This type of assessment is fairly exciting to me. Research allows us to identify where we stand given a baseline of common functioning. It’s not necessarily good or bad if we find ourselves deviating from the norm, but if functioning is impaired or if the deviation causes excess stress or difficulty in life then there’s a great opportunity to further examine the causes and cures for the dis-ease. Indeed, this approach can strongly aid a therapist’s intuition when making a diagnosis.

That Saturday I returned for some more indepth neuropsych testing. The WAIS and the MMPI are two of the tests that I took (or am taking…the MMPI is about 550 questions long, and as we’ll see, the diagnosis I came upon does NOT lend well to focusing ) ).

April 17th I returned with my dear friend Emily Lyon to discuss the possibility of my having ADHD.

To be continued…

But what of the quiet?

What about those who say the least and DO the most? What of actions? What of silence? What of the soft & gentle moments where you find out who you really are? What of those self-defining times that require no words? Where’s the place for a still small voice in an anxious large world?

What of the quiet?

10 people put out on the Skid Row for 24 hours. They are meant to gather insight into the world of the impoverished. Some greet them with angry voices. Others find in these temporary visitors friends. Either way, they will return to their homes after 24 hours. No, they may never know the full extent of those on the streets. No, they may ne’er come near the broken heart of the lonely…no, not only lonely, but the chronically so. However, their voices can return to “another land” and carry with them power. Will they do so? Were they touched enough to invoke change in their hearers? Could they bring back with them power to move me?

Several touched my heart:

• ROBERT RUTHERFORD
• DARRYL VAN LEER
• CORNELIOUS “SEE” FLOWERS

Afterthoughts:

Almost childlike I instinctively reach for a book.
I take it and the thought of possessing it sooooths me…

“MINE!”

comes the voice of that energy.
I want, I need and soon I have
a bright, shinny book, with only mild thought of price.

They contain answers.
They are my medicine.
In them I find respite and in them I can stop the pain of personal experience.

I know this and just the thought, not even the reading of it, calms me when I hunger.

On my shelf now.

Mine.

The book is my medicine.